It’s a safe bet that you expected a lot from your first trip in single player mode. A great tan (tmtc). Discover the world. You make new friends. A crazy Instagram feed. And also, some of those moments when you find yourself jumping into the water in your simplest device. But how can I put it… The feeling of loneliness, the fear of traveling alone, you weren’t expecting that. And yet, it’s a feeling that most people who travel solo experience. It’s also one of those who are almost never mentioned because, come on, isn’t it a bit of a loser to admit that you felt all alone during THE trip of your life?
Suddenly, you hide all that under a ton of somewhat forced happiness, hoping very very strongly that this unpleasant little pinch will disappear. And sometimes it works. And that is really cool. But there are also times when it just doesn’t work at all, and that feeling amplifies, and you find yourself spending more and more time indoors and dwelling on why “I can’t enjoy this. trip when everyone seems to be super comfortable”. And before you know it, you’re googling how to get home as quickly as possible.
If you’re in the middle of it right now, close the flight booking pages right now and please take the time to read the following. Loneliness, in addition to being a completely normal feeling, is familiar to more people than you might think. And, spoiler alert, there are plenty of things you can do to prevent this feeling from ruining your stay. In truth, there’s no reason to be afraid of traveling alone, you just have to know how to deal with loneliness when it hits you hard. Here are 7 tips that can help you.
1. Rest, gain strength, refocus
Hunger, thirst and fatigue are easily channelled. Have you ever felt hungry? Remember that wonderful feeling of fullness after eating. Sometimes we confuse physical and emotional needs. Eat, drink, and sleep well. You feel better ? Owl ! Go out and enjoy the rest of your stay. Make a quick mental note: when your future you feel tired and lonely, they’ll remind you that it’s not the same.
2. Moping without feeling guilty
Wait ! What ? It is precisely the fact of you moping that led you to this article?! So, yes, we agree, but here we are talking about “moping” without feeling guilty and learning to give yourself a deadline. Sometimes you need to release a little pressure. Already, you don’t have to do something stylish every day of your trip. It’s okay if you don’t go swimming with sharks or climbing up Machu Picchu every day, especially if you’re traveling for a long time. Take a little Netflix break, read a good book, make yourself a meal with ice cream… It’s essential. Give yourself a real break for 24h / 48h to be able to start again better.
3. Remember that you are a great person!
So, yes… You have just spent the last few hours/days/weeks telling yourself that you were just a loser without friends… But it is important that you take a step back from the situation. Try to remember everyone you met on this trip. Remember all those times when you had fun. You see you are much cooler than you thought.
If it helps, look at your photos, see all the super stylish things you’ve done and the super cool people you were with. All is not so black, huh? And finally, this moment of solitude is ephemeral, right?
And even if you find that everything we tell you does not apply to your situation… Maybe it is because you are just at the very beginning of your journey or because you have not yet had a occasion… But all the same, you’re still a brilliant person! Why ? Well, because it takes a lot of courage and willpower to go away from home like that, to get out of your comfort zone and it’s you alone who started! Do you realize that there are few people who are able to do what you are doing? That alone makes you really cool and don’t be afraid to tell yourself that. 60 times per hour if necessary!
4. Relish the time spent alone, especially if it scares us
How many times in college, at work, and even in your roommate, have you wished you were alone? Well now you are served! Learn to savor this moment even if it can be a little scary. When will you have the opportunity to be able to think about all these questions that are ultimately important but that we push away in a corner of our brain for lack of time? Questions like “What do I really want to do in life?” »…
It’s true that being alone with your thoughts can be a terrifying experience, but as a Nobel Peace Prize winner once said, “Pray that your solitude will help you find a reason to live, good enough for you to be prepared to die for it”. And if nothing so profound happens to you during this period of reflection, it is possible that you are just tired of yourself and that suddenly, it pushes you to look for new friends 😉
5. Stop being so unsociable
Okay, we’re not being super nice on this one. But let’s be honest, maybe you could try a little harder, right? Already, stop hiding in your room/bed/behind your phone.
Of course, it’s not easy to get out of your comfort zone, especially when you feel alone. But it’s really one of the things you have to force yourself to do. You will thank yourself later. If taking the first step is really too difficult for you, you can always make yourself more affordable: go to the bar side of the hotel, exchange your phone for a book.
6. Replicate what has worked in the past
Deep down, most of us already know what makes us feel better. Are you more big city or more beach? A little too often, when we go on a trip, we already have in mind an idea of the stay that we are about to experience. We have developed a whole program and we try to follow it to the letter. But it’s important to be able to recognize when the plan isn’t working so you can forget about it and move on.
Take inspiration from what has worked in the past, on this trip or on previous ones. It can be simply changing cities regularly, or just changing hotels within the same city. By putting yourself in your preferred environment, it will obviously be easier to solve your problems. And once you get back on track you can always go back to your original program if that’s what you want. That or something else entirely, if you’ve found something even better thanks to the new encounters you’ve made!
7. Don't leave friendships to chance
In an ideal world, solo travelers would cruise from one group of friends to another without a single day of solitude in between. And the worst part is that it often works like that! But of course, sometimes not. That’s why it’s important to have a few little backup tactics to be able to meet new people in a city you don’t know. Fortunately, there are plenty of ways to meet people when traveling alone, these are my favorites:
- Go to the hotel bar: of all the places in the world, this is the most likely spot where you will find solo travelers like you who will not be scared at all when you come and talk to them like that . You may even arrive at the time of departure for the barathon!
- Take a city tour: Spend the day with fellow travelers and you just might make some buddies for life or at least for dinner. Just be mindful of the type of tours you choose: hotels and online sites tend to cater more to couples and families, hotels tend to have the most diverse groups of travelers.
- Join a Facebook group. FB as well as travel forums are full of people traveling and looking for fellow adventurers.
- Go on a “date”: Apps like Tinder make it much easier to meet locals. Does the idea of a date mean anything to you (or your better half at home would certainly not really agree)? Add a little note to your profile that you’re looking for friends more than true love.
- Reach out to everyone you know: Do you know that theory that we’re 6 handshakes away from Barack Obama (or anyone else on the planet)? So you know that you have every chance of knowing someone who knows someone who is in the same city as you. Do not hesitate to ask around you, you would be surprised to discover certain connections!
Feeling alone on your journey doesn’t have to be the death knell for your journey. Like many adventures in life, the depressing moments are often temporary and if you manage to overcome this thanks to the tips we have given you, there is no reason that you cannot achieve all the great projects. that you had before you started your journey.
And if you meet someone who is in the same situation as yours, don’t hesitate to go up to them and say, “Have I ever told you how I ended up jumping in a river naked?